My Abnormaly Large Hamster

I was just sitting here thinking about my hamster (as you do!) I used to have a great hamster, I noticed her in the pet shop straight away, she was the biggest hamster I had ever seen, I asked the shop owners why she was so big, and they said she had escaped 4 months ago, and had just been re-captured that morning, she had been found living under the aquariums and eating the dead fish - they said thats why she was so massive, they also said that it was vicious and had given one of the staff a nasty bite... So I bought the massive, psyco hamster!!! On the way home it got out of the box and like lightning it shot out of the box it was in, squashed itself flat, and squeezed into a vent in the center console of my boyfriends car, We had to stop the car and take some of the inside panels off, it took us hours, but we found it. A year later I woke up to hear my dog barking like mad, he was standing over the hamster cage in the hallway, when I looked I found that two of the cage bars were bent open (like in a cartoon prison escape) and the hamster had escaped! At first I thought that the dog had eaten it, but then why would he be barking? I set some little jars with food in around the house to try and re-capture my SAS hamster. I looked everywhere and after a few months of nothing I gave up hope. After my hamster had been missing for eight months, I was looking for something in the cup-board under the sink, I found a raw potato that had been half eaten, with tiny little teeth marks, Ok, so maybe my hamster was still around then, although I expected it to be dead from eating raw potato. Time went on and we came to be selling our house, there was no further signs of my hamster, I had left more traps in the cupboard under the sink, but nothing. It was about a week before we were supposed to move, I was lying on the bed and I heard running and squeeling from under my bedroom floor, the next day my partner heard the same noise and we tryed to spray some water down the side of the floor incase it was thirsty. We were trying to figure out how to get it out from under there, then I remebered about the jig-saw that I had bought the previous year, I cut a big square hole in the floor on the left hand side of my bedroom, but it was the wrong place, so I cut another one, and another one.... Finaly I got the right place and I looked down the hole, I could hear the hamster running around and I could see what looked like, shreaded up mice (it was insulation shredded up actually but I thought the SAS hamster had been killing mice to survive) I put my hand down the hole with some trepidation (ok I was sxxt scared,) I held out a piece of cheese and I heard a thundering running as the hamster came towards me, it grabbed the cheese out of my hand in a flash and kept running!! Great! I thought as it scampered off into the darkness, I thought that it wouldn't come back after having got that cheese, but after an hour of hanging around with my hand down the hole, I managed to re-capture my hamser, she was so skinny that you could see her little spine bones, so I made her cage all nice and gave here all the treats and food I could find. She didn't escape ever again. As for the floor, I stuck all the squares I had cut out back, with no more nails..and moved out